scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
