You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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