margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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