I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
