I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
