If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
