Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You pole danced in your parka.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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