Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Randomize
