Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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