the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize