Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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