why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
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I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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