whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
