Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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