so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
