Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
