do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
