so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
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