1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
