sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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