Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize