I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
