I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
His nipple licking is glorious
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