??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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