his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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