i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
