So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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