We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
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I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
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Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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