i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
