I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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