Me too!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
