so that wasnt chicken after all
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
