i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
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I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
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Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.