My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.