I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?