guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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