Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
