Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
