First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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