put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
