suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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