The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
