so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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