I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
