my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
