do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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