My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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