Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
