i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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