The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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