I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We had sex on a dog bed..
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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