singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
