i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
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You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
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I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments