ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean