and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
