Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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