walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
