Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
