what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
