I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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