yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I skipped work to stalk him.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
