Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
