So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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