Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
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