Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
