I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
