Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
