i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
